


Planning a Perfect Date

by killerweasel



Category: Good Omens (TV Series)
Genre: F/M, Gen, M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-05-26
Updated: 2020-05-26
Packaged: 2021-03-03 04:01:10
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 835
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/24398437
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/killerweasel/pseuds/killerweasel
Summary: Gabriel seeks some dating advice.
Relationships: Aziraphale/Crowley (Good Omens), Beelzebub/Gabriel (Good Omens)
Comments: 2
Kudos: 43





	Planning a Perfect Date

Title: Planning a Perfect Date  
Fandom: Good Omens (TV Series)  
Characters: Crowley, Gabriel  
Pairings: Aziraphale/Crowley, Beelzebub/Gabriel  
Word Count: 800  
Rating: G  
A/N: After Episode 6  
Summary: Gabriel seeks some dating advice.

Crowley wrinkled his nose as he caught the scent of sulfur in the air. A piece of paper, which hadn't been there a moment ago, slapped him in the face. Swearing loudly, he balled the paper up and threw it across the room. A second paper, larger than the first, smacked him in the back of the head before dancing just out of reach. The paper fluttered, making a buzzing sound. A knot started to form in Crowley's stomach.

"Fine! I'll read your damn letter, Beelzebub!" The letter floated gently down into his hand. The more Crowley read, the higher his eyebrows rose. By the time he was done, he was surprised his eyebrows were still attached to his face. "Seriously?"

_Crowley,  
Gabriel is going to show up at your door shortly. Don't hurt him. He's just realized something which has made him big of heart and dumb of ass. It's enough to make me sick. If you answer his questions, I'll owe you a favor. Anything you want, within reason.  
Beelzebub_

Crowley seriously thought about ignoring the knock at the door. Then the knocking grew louder and more insistent until the walls were shaking. Thanking Someone Aziraphale was at the local library helping them sort book donations, Crowley got up from the couch and opened the door before it was shaken from its hinges.

"Gabriel." The smile on Crowley's face was far from nice and showed more than a hint of fang. "Would you like to come in?"

"Be Not Afraid."

The Archangel power behind the words made Crowley's fingernails turn into claws. "That's how you want to start this? Really? Have those words ever made anyone feel perfectly calm around you? You could just say 'hey' or possibly 'hello'."

"Oh." Gabriel cleared his throat. "Hello, Crowley?"

"Better." Crowley led the Archangel through the cottage. "Have a seat." The demon made sure to sit in Aziraphale's chair so Gabriel wouldn't taint it. He watched Gabriel fidget for a moment. "Why are you here?"

"You're a demon."

"Yup."

"If an angel were to date a demon, and I know I sound like a massive hypocrite after what we put you two through, what would make a good date?" He ran his fingers through his hair. "Something they would enjoy and not hate."

"Depends on the demon." Crowley fought the urge to get up and shake Gabriel until his teeth rattled in his head. "Just so you know, we weren't the only angel and demon who were more than friends. We were just the two who got shit on about it because of our standing. I don't recall Michael being threatened with Hellfire for her things with Ligur _and_ Hastur, not to mention now she's been seeing Dagon. And everyone knows about you and Beelzebub."

Gabriel said nothing. His hands tightened on the arms on the chair until the wood underneath started to crack. "I'm not going to apologize for what was done."

"I'd be surprised if you did." As he sat back, a pen and paper appeared in his hand. "You need to go to this location at sunset. Bring something to eat. Make sure it's something repulsive. The grosser, the better. You're going to take her to a dump."

"Are you joking?" The revulsion on Gabriel's face made Crowley laugh. "A garbage dump?"

"This one is by the woods. You'll need a car. If you can't drive, just show up in one. At sunset, the rats come out to feed. We're talking rats the size of cats. Then you get other animals. They'll fight over the trash. Sometimes people throw food. When the smaller animals start to run away, that's when the bears show up. Bonus points if you get out onto the roof and throw stuff to the bears." He handed the paper to Gabriel. "It's in the States. Not too many humans. She mentioned it once when she was completely shitfaced. Said she always wanted to go back so she could fight a bear."

"This is something she really wants to do?" Gabriel frowned. "You aren't making it up just to make me look like a jackass?"

"I don't have to do anything to make you look like an ass. You're more than capable of doing it yourself." Crowley's phone buzzed in his pocket. He pulled it out and smiled. "Aziraphale is on his way home. One of the librarians is driving him. I'd like you gone before he gets here."

"You really think she's going to like this?"

"If she's doesn't, she might tear your arm off, beat you with it, and then feed you to the bears, so either way, she's going to enjoy herself." Crowley shrugged. "That's what you get for dating a Prince of Hell." With a flourish, he shooed Gabriel out the door.


End file.
